I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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