Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
