so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
