She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize