Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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