I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
