I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
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