**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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