dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
