Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
