Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
time to smoke my breakfast
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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