Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
