BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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