then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you traded sex for a burrito?
smell my finger.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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