Acid is not a monday night drug
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
