do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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