Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
