so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
