Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
