He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
