Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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