Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
