How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
