the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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