Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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