sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize