i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
