I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
