mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
