too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
