yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
