so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The adults are the big ones right?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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