is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize