Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
