if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
