yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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