its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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