You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
