Whoa Z and x make the same sound
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize