I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
