I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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