You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
