i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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