508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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