I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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