My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
