This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
