I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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