I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
