so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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