oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
