I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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