She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
