You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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