Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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