Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
