Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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