I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize