i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
