I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
