She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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